I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
