i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
