Me too!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
