Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
