I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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