Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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