I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
