He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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