wakey wakey hands off snakey
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
