i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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