Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize