at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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