We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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