I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
