Don't you send me to vm
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
