sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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