i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She announced her abortion via fbk
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
