I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
