So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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