its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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