I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
