what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
