it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize