Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
