Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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