goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i think my cat just said my name.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
