Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
