I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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