I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
