Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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