so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
