She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
