I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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