Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize