I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You need a sexual gate keeper
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
