hell yes lets make some ravioli
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
