Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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