i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
