she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
