a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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