so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
