What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
