why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
