Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
