We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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