i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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