I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
