Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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