Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
