There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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