? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
