well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize