so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
