i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize