You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
it glows. i had to have it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I wear drunk well.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
