Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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