dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
