So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize