fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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