It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
