just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
