I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
and she was petting her beer can
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
